This past week I've been moving from the dorm room that I've lived in for the past school year to a house that me and three friends are renting for the next school year. It's been super hectic and there's no internet at the house, so I'm updating on campus via phone because my laptop died.
So like me to let that happen. But I am determined to make blogging a habit that I don't give up halfway on.
When I make goals, I meet the goals.
Also, an envelope I had with all the tips I made in the past 3 weeks somehow has gone missing through the move too? I'm rather upset about it because I was saving it to the end of the month so I could take all the tithing out at once and I'm always so careful with my money that is pretty hard earned and suddenly I've misplaced almost 200$ = =
Well, money isn't the most important thing in life.
I still have mixed feelings about the residence life experience. And my whole first year experience. I wasn't as outgoing as I told myself I should be and I'm still not super tight with anyone. My grades and health took a beating when my homesickness and anxiety/panic attacks kicked in. I went to the gym, but not as often as I told myself I should. I thought it would be easy to make friends with the people on my floor but I only really am friends with 2 of them. I thought if anything, I would still have the YSA in the branch, but it was hard to fit in with them too.
On the other hand, I am extremely humbled by many things that have happened these past 8 months. My testimony that God looks out for me and has a plan for me that isn't in my view and is better than I ever could have made happen is stronger than ever. In some ways I am weaker than I thought I was, but I'm also stronger and more independent than when I first left home. I'm less afraid of making phone calls and taking matters into my own hands. I have a steady job with steady income that allowed me to be able to pay for my first month of rent and all my furniture. I appreciate my family and friend group much more acutely (and miss them extremely) now that I've experienced living without the constant immediate love, warmth, comfort, and acceptance that was always available for me to rely on.
When I was deciding where to go for university, I did an immense amount of fasting and praying. Queens came to me as the clear answer and even now I'm not quite sure as to why. I remember how surprised my friends were because I'm the one who's most attached to home, most restricted(ish) by my parents, sometimes I can be kind of a baby (only with my school friend group. Otherwise I'm pretty big sistery cuz I am the oldest child). I was pretty surprised too.
Why not UBC? All the school parents said it was a waste not to accept.
Why not BYU? I took my SATs, did all the application stuff, got accepted to Provo and Idaho, the environment would've been great with the members, maybe easier to make friends, not to mention all the church parents saying I should just go so I can hurry up and get married. Also it'd be easier to take 2 years off for a mission.
Sometimes I still wonder why I'm here.
I don't really know yet. But one day I'll look back and see how this all played out in God's plan for me.
In the meantime, 5 more days until I'm home <3
No comments:
Post a Comment