I expected rain that day so
I dressed up for it and
even brought my umbrella which
was unusual for me because
it rains so often here that
I hardly care about a splash or two but
that day I brought an umbrella to school and
I won't forget that morning around 8 o'clock when
I was sure it would rain and
the sky would come crashing down with
thunder to deafen and
lightning to blind but
it was all quiet all day just
an overcast dim grey sky which
blocked any hope of any
bit of sun that tried to make it seem like day and
my umbrella sat in my locker while
all that day thunder pounded my head and
a lightning strike seemed to have shattered my heart and
my eyes flooded over tracing rivers on my cheeks and
I just really wished it would rain
Tuesday, 29 July 2014
Monday, 7 July 2014
Sunday, 29 June 2014
Noot Noot
Have you ever felt the disappointment of walking through an entire department store and not found a single store that sells yarn?
Well I have.
They sell some at one of the metro stops though.
Life is pretty great.
Nothing to rant about.
Nothing super on my mind.
Whee~
I've kind of been neglecting this blog.
I really shouldn't because I need to improve my writing.
But there are so many fun things in real life that I could be doing.
Sunday, 8 June 2014
100 Questions
I did this as a punishment post for another blog I'm part of, so I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone and post it here too. It takes hecka long to do, lemme tell you that.
It's Monday morning in my timezone and I need to write a paper due tomorrow. I really don't want to, but aaaaayyyyyy
My English T.A. told me to write a blog in order to improve my writing and keep writing over the summer. I'm not sure what this is doing to help my writing, but it's better than not writing anything at all I guess.
I might want to share a piece I wrote last week on this blog, but it kinda makes me nervous and uncomfortable. Especially when you go on tumblr and there's so much art theft and uncredited work.
Not that anyone would think mine is good enough to steal, but you never know, right?
But I dunno who reads this blog. They probably get redirected here randomly or something.
I think I've noticed the thing about blogs. It's like talking to myself but not really. Weird.
Anyway, here we go.
Nothing too personal will go up because I'm paranoid.
1. If there were one word which was automatically to your name in Google searches, which word would you want it to be?
Bat Ranger
2. What is a goal that you recently met?
I've been such a slacker these past weeks I have accomplished nothing I am a loser
Jokes, umm I guess I just haven't been setting goals recently other than to gradually finish my paper. Which were not completely accomplished.
I did finish all my other homework though!
3. What is your favorite time of day?
After dinner and before dishes and cleaning up where me and my parents can just sit and talk.
4. Name a celebrity you find attractive.
Choi Seung-hyun AKA T.O.P. what a dude.
5. What is one of the best pieces of advice you have ever received?
"Pray about it".
6. What is the ultimate gesture of total trust?
Willingly and knowingly giving someone other than yourself authority and power over you.
7. What is the best compliment you have ever received?
I always love it when people call me a sweet spirit, or tell me I'm a good human being, that makes me feel real fuzzy on the inside. It's also nice to be complimented on my voice or writing though.
8. What is something you have changed your mind about?
I used to think I would follow Skip Beat to the end, but it's really gone downhill lately. . . why am I even reading this series anymore?
9. What is something you’ve never changed your mind about?
I've never changed my mind about my faith.
10. Rewrite the end of a fairy tale.
What if Rumplestiltskin got the first born son that he was promised and raised him to be a super awesome wizard or warlock? I imagine the Queen would have to tell the King about not actually spinning the gold and sacrificing her future first born's life for her own. I wonder if the King would love her enough not to divorce her. Their relationship must be stronger than they first met by then, but it's hard to say. Suppose the King abandons the Queen out of anger and she is thrown out of the kingdom and sent out to sea. Ends up shipwrecked somewhere and has already lost all will to live but is taken care of by a nice community where she ends up. Eventually her interest in life will be peaked again and she lives with the nursing family who saved her. Learns to be a healer herself, does good in the village. Saves a man's life, falls in love for real, get married. Meanwhile the King has always been lonely and childless. His Kingdom is in tatters. Regrets what he's done and misses his Queen. He supposes she died at sea which was the plan, but he hears rumors. Sends a emissary to confirm. Visits the village himself and tries to take her back to live in the castle. Her husband is furious and children distraught, but the King reminds her that she is not legally divorced and has always been living in sin. Meanwhile, their firstborn child has been raised by Rumplestiltskin who is a caring, but controlling parent. The firstborn is told of his origins and because of a little bit of bitterness, beut also good intentions of hoping his parents don't do any more wrong, hedecides to put a spell on his parents that forces them to feel extreme guilt for all their wrongdoings. That's what urged the King to find his wife again. The Queen is now feeling extreme guilt for her happiness because she remembers her firstborn, all the lies she had to say to save her life and become Queen. So when the King angrily tells her she's living in sin, she is driven by the guilt of the spell and her own guilt to kill herself. The new husband and children blame the King for their unhappiness. The King is driven to madness. The kingdom is in havoc, but Rumplestiltskin comes to the rescue and installs the first-born as the rightful King. The New King uses his wisdom, training, and magic to rule righteously and restore the kingdom into glory. A New Era Begins.
11. Choose one: you will never misunderstand the meaning of what someone else is saying OR nobody will ever misunderstand what you say.
Definitely the 2nd. I feel that I can sometimes be inadequate with my words and it's so much trouble when people take the wrong meaning of if someone's feelings get hurt.
12. If offered irreversible immortality, would you take it?
I believe that immortality will eventually be granted to everyone on the earth, living or dead, so yes. What I'm aiming for though, is eternal life.
13. In your opinion, what are the most important qualities of a good friend?
Mutual respect and honesty, and a fun aspect. Like, we need to have something to talk about or something that we do together that's fun.
14. If you could be a founding member of a space colony, with the caveat that you would never be able to return to Earth, would you go?
Nope.
15. What is your favorite superpower? Why?
Shapeshifting because that would be so convenient. I could literally be anything I wanted including a koala. That's reason enough for me.
16. If you were a book, which book would you be?
I'd like to think that I'm Stargirl, just because it's such a plain and honest book about a plain and honest girl and you can discover so many things everytime you read it it's amazing I never get tired of it. It's special because it's not special.
17. If you found out that your life was a book, and you met your author, what would you say to them?
So why haven't you written in a little romance for me yet?
18. How would you prefer to die?
Happy. I would prefer to die happy.
19. What is your favorite paradox?
"I can resist anything but temptation" -Oscar Wilde
20. Tell us five facts about your first love, or, if you haven’t had one yet, invent the story of meeting your first love.
-I was obsessed -He was everywhere I looked -He was out of reach -He drove me insane -He loved someone else
21. If you could live anywhere for a year, where would you live?
Kinda wanna visit Australia bc koalas yo
22. If you could visit anywhere for a week, where would you go?
I'd wanna visit Whistler. Never been even though I live so close. Walk the trails and enjoy nature.
23. You can only read one genre of books for the rest of your life. Which genre do you read?
YOU'RE KILLING ME
Manga maybe? or Fantasy. Or classics. Wow this is an earth-shaking question you can't do this to me
24. Define “love.”
"Love, noun.
I'm not even going to try."
-David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary.
25. Define “justice.”
Facing the full consequences of your actions.
26. Define “truth.”
At times, a hard pill to swallow.
27. Define “art.”
I think that anything with meaning or beauty can be considered art.
28. Define “good.”
Wholesome.
29. Define “obscene.”
To me, I suppose it's gross behaviour and anything overtly sexual.
30. What one thing in the world would be hardest for you to give up?
Being with the people I love.
31. What is one thing you regret?
Staying silent when I have things to say.
32. What is something that you have done that you are proud of?
Idol contest. Never thought I could do that.
33. Is it easier to talk or to listen?
Listen. Definitely.
34. When are you vulnerable?
When I'm lonely
35. If you met God, what would you say to God?
So where did YOU come from? like, if you created everything, who created you?
36. Would it be harder to tell someone you loved them if you weren’t sure how they would respond, or have to tell someone that you didn’t love them back?
Telling someone that I don't love them back because that would hurt. I know how it would hurt them if they loved me. It would hurt a lot. On both ends. Especially if I wanted it to work out too.
37. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them? Who were they to you?
I have no idea. Probably my mom? I'm not one to say I love you a lot.
38. What is your worst quality?
Defaulting to altruism much too often for the sake of avoiding conflict or any clash in particular.
39. What is your best quality?
I think my best quality is my ability to listen to other people and make them feel better, but is it arrogant of me to think that?
40. What is your most immediately noticeable quality?
I'm not sure. I guess I'd have to ask someone I just met to tell me that.
41. What is the first thing you notice about other people?
Body language ---> mood
42. Describe one of your closest friends, and explain why that person is such a close friend.
She gets me. We've been friends since grade 2 so time is on our side. But also we really compliment each other. She puts up with me so
43. What happened in the last dream you remember?
I dreamed I was in a mansion where behind every door were life sized figurines of different series of books/tvshows/movies and they would come alive when you summoned them. There were lots of people with me exploring different rooms, and then I discovered a room that was completely empty. It made me really sad and he came into the room and stared at me like I was empty too. I started crying and then I woke up.
44. What was your most memorable dream?
A nightmare where a huge snake (I'm talking larger than the basalisk) destroyed Vancouver and was trying to kill me.
45. Two truths and a lie.
I've never been to Disneyland/Disneyworld
I have an unhealthy obsession for making origami squids
I've been to the hospital because of mosquito bites
46. If you were having a baby with the love of your life, and they insisted that the child be named after a place, what would you name your child?
Aspen I think. It's the name of a city, but more importantly, it's the name of a type of tree. It sounds pretty nice and it sounds unisex.
47. What is the last lie you told?
I have an unhealthy obsession for making origami squids.
48. Is it possible for you to love someone you don’t trust?
Yes, but it wouldn't be the deepest or healthiest relationship.
49. What motivates you most?
Approval, whether it be my own, or someone I want to impress.
50. What is your favorite narrative trope?
I'm a sucker for the underdog.
51. Describe the ultimate dystopia.
Read The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. That's the scariest dystopia ever.
52. What story (book, movie, game, etc.) have you learned the most from?
ASDFJKL ummm I really couldn't say. Maybe the Harry Potter and LOTR series? OH WAIT NO GHIBLI MOVIES. Especially Princess Mononoke. That be deep yo.
53. What is something you wish other people could know about you without you having to tell them?
It's not that I don't care or don't feel anything, it's that I don't know or don't show. I'm feel a lot and I care a lot and I'm scared of that.
54. Describe a moment you experienced something unexpectedly beautiful.
Every moment I stumble upon a really good pun. Now there's beauty.
55. What is the biggest challenge you face when trying to form relationships with people?
Becoming comfortable around new people is always hard, especially if we don't click immediately. I get really nervous over everything so I probably make people feel weird because there's really no need to get worked up and it just gets in the way.
56. How close do you think your perception of yourself is to how other people perceive you?
Probably not very.
57. What is something you used to be afraid of, but aren’t anymore?
Dogs.
58. What is the most important emotion?
COMPASSION? LOVE? EMPATHY? YES
59. Do you think humans are any different than very advanced organic robots? If so, how?
Organic robots? Like homunculi or? I think we're special but idk
60. If you had to move somewhere else, what would you miss most from where you are now?
Friends, family, ocean, mountains, etc.
61. If you were a videogame character, what would your iconic weapon be?
hmm I'd want to have a super lethal hairpin or something like that. Something small and ordinary, but lethal.
62. What is an aspect of your personality now that would come as a surprise to your younger self?
I'm much more willing to showcase myself which was NOT the case before 6 ish years ago
63. If you could eliminate one event from the last month, which event would it be?
12 hours on a plane. That I could do without. but then I wouldn't be here so hmm
64. If you had to forget the entire last year except for one 24 hour period, which day would you chose to remember? (Other people would remember, and you would have anything you wrote down or recorded during that time period - you would just have a form of amnesia.)
February 18th
65. What is the most upsetting thing anyone has ever said to you?
I tend to forget these things. Leaves me happier anyway.
66. If you had to pick only one ideal or cause to work toward, what would it be?
Perfection.
67. Are there any unforgivable actions? What are they?
Everything is forgivable so long as the person is truly sorry I think.
68. Under what circumstances is keeping information secret acceptable or morally required?
When telling the secret would hurt someone more than it would help them.
69. What is one of your favorite ways to relax?
going out for a walk, sleeping, reading
70. What is something you find difficult to talk about, even though you know you should?
February 18th
71. What is an easy, default topic of conversation?
the weather?
72. What is your favorite sort of conversation?
The familiar sort
73. What is a version of you in an alternate reality doing right now?
At home with friends.
74. What was the last adorable thing you saw?
Helena Lee-Wen omg why are all the Lee-Wen babies so cute they make me want to have like 10 but not really
75. Would you prefer for people to hate you or for people to be completely indifferent to you?
Hate me. At least they acknowledge my existence.
76. Would you prefer to be yelled at or ignored?
Ignored is fine, thank you.
77. What is your favorite word and why?
conumdrum cuz it sounds fun
78. What is your dream job?
VOICE ACTRESS OMG that's been my dream since forever.
79. What is the most difficult thing you’ve done this month?
urm tried to sleep on the plane. Now that's hard.
80. When was the last time you were really scared?
Panic attack during class like woah
81. What do you want most?
I wanna be happyyyyy I want eternal happiness with an eternal companionnnnn
82. Describe an ideal day.
A day where I can sleep until I die.
83. If you could speak to any real (non-fictional) person, living or dead for one hour, who would it be?
Jesus actually. That be cool.
84. In general, are you happy with the person you have become?
mmm I wish I was thinner and prettier, I wish I was more outspoken and less awkward, but it ain't bad being me.
85. Do you want to be a parent?
heck ye babies.
86. What is something unusual about you that not a lot of people know?
I wanna be punk rock.
87. What makes you you?
Me.
88. Are you lonelier when you’re with people or when you’re alone?
With people. With people that I don't feel that I fit in with.
89. What makes you feel safe?
Blankie&Summeria
90. What was the last bad decision you made?
Killing a man.
naaah probably getting up early. I'll regret it tonight when I'm tired.
91. Who is someone you have utmost respect for, and what is it about that person that makes you esteem them so highly?
Utmost? Maya Angelou maybe? She was a really good poet. It's hard to say who I have utmost respect for because I don't think I do for anybody right now.
92. What was the last thing you laughed uncontrollably at?
Something stupid and punny I'm sure.
93. Your friend tells you that they are suicidal, and asks you not to tell anyone. Is it more of a betrayal to tell someone, or to keep silent?
To keep silent. A life is on the line yo.
94. What song speaks to you most? Why?
The Scientist by Coldplay. It sums up my first year quite well. I love it.
95. What basic values or principles do you turn to when faced with moral dilemmas?
The commandments of the church, church doctrine, what feels right.
96. If you had a tagline, what would it be?
naaaaaah
97. If applicable, what do you look for in a romantic partner?
Someone who cares enough to get to know me inside out, and knows what I want to say without me needing to say it.
98. Who is your favorite author?
HNNNG THIS IS THE HARDEST QUESTION OF LIFE
I give up.
I love Jane Austen, Kenneth Oppel, Jerry Spinelli, Tolkien, so many other authors I can't think of right now and a lot of manga series, they count as authors too.
99. Who is the one person you know who is most similar to you (in terms of personality, beliefs, attitudes, mannerisms, etc)?
Gabbyyyyyyyyy
100. What are you most excited about right now?
Life.
It's Monday morning in my timezone and I need to write a paper due tomorrow. I really don't want to, but aaaaayyyyyy
My English T.A. told me to write a blog in order to improve my writing and keep writing over the summer. I'm not sure what this is doing to help my writing, but it's better than not writing anything at all I guess.
I might want to share a piece I wrote last week on this blog, but it kinda makes me nervous and uncomfortable. Especially when you go on tumblr and there's so much art theft and uncredited work.
Not that anyone would think mine is good enough to steal, but you never know, right?
But I dunno who reads this blog. They probably get redirected here randomly or something.
I think I've noticed the thing about blogs. It's like talking to myself but not really. Weird.
Anyway, here we go.
Nothing too personal will go up because I'm paranoid.
1. If there were one word which was automatically to your name in Google searches, which word would you want it to be?
Bat Ranger
2. What is a goal that you recently met?
I've been such a slacker these past weeks I have accomplished nothing I am a loser
Jokes, umm I guess I just haven't been setting goals recently other than to gradually finish my paper. Which were not completely accomplished.
I did finish all my other homework though!
3. What is your favorite time of day?
After dinner and before dishes and cleaning up where me and my parents can just sit and talk.
4. Name a celebrity you find attractive.
Choi Seung-hyun AKA T.O.P. what a dude.
5. What is one of the best pieces of advice you have ever received?
"Pray about it".
6. What is the ultimate gesture of total trust?
Willingly and knowingly giving someone other than yourself authority and power over you.
7. What is the best compliment you have ever received?
I always love it when people call me a sweet spirit, or tell me I'm a good human being, that makes me feel real fuzzy on the inside. It's also nice to be complimented on my voice or writing though.
8. What is something you have changed your mind about?
I used to think I would follow Skip Beat to the end, but it's really gone downhill lately. . . why am I even reading this series anymore?
9. What is something you’ve never changed your mind about?
I've never changed my mind about my faith.
10. Rewrite the end of a fairy tale.
What if Rumplestiltskin got the first born son that he was promised and raised him to be a super awesome wizard or warlock? I imagine the Queen would have to tell the King about not actually spinning the gold and sacrificing her future first born's life for her own. I wonder if the King would love her enough not to divorce her. Their relationship must be stronger than they first met by then, but it's hard to say. Suppose the King abandons the Queen out of anger and she is thrown out of the kingdom and sent out to sea. Ends up shipwrecked somewhere and has already lost all will to live but is taken care of by a nice community where she ends up. Eventually her interest in life will be peaked again and she lives with the nursing family who saved her. Learns to be a healer herself, does good in the village. Saves a man's life, falls in love for real, get married. Meanwhile the King has always been lonely and childless. His Kingdom is in tatters. Regrets what he's done and misses his Queen. He supposes she died at sea which was the plan, but he hears rumors. Sends a emissary to confirm. Visits the village himself and tries to take her back to live in the castle. Her husband is furious and children distraught, but the King reminds her that she is not legally divorced and has always been living in sin. Meanwhile, their firstborn child has been raised by Rumplestiltskin who is a caring, but controlling parent. The firstborn is told of his origins and because of a little bit of bitterness, beut also good intentions of hoping his parents don't do any more wrong, hedecides to put a spell on his parents that forces them to feel extreme guilt for all their wrongdoings. That's what urged the King to find his wife again. The Queen is now feeling extreme guilt for her happiness because she remembers her firstborn, all the lies she had to say to save her life and become Queen. So when the King angrily tells her she's living in sin, she is driven by the guilt of the spell and her own guilt to kill herself. The new husband and children blame the King for their unhappiness. The King is driven to madness. The kingdom is in havoc, but Rumplestiltskin comes to the rescue and installs the first-born as the rightful King. The New King uses his wisdom, training, and magic to rule righteously and restore the kingdom into glory. A New Era Begins.
11. Choose one: you will never misunderstand the meaning of what someone else is saying OR nobody will ever misunderstand what you say.
Definitely the 2nd. I feel that I can sometimes be inadequate with my words and it's so much trouble when people take the wrong meaning of if someone's feelings get hurt.
12. If offered irreversible immortality, would you take it?
I believe that immortality will eventually be granted to everyone on the earth, living or dead, so yes. What I'm aiming for though, is eternal life.
13. In your opinion, what are the most important qualities of a good friend?
Mutual respect and honesty, and a fun aspect. Like, we need to have something to talk about or something that we do together that's fun.
14. If you could be a founding member of a space colony, with the caveat that you would never be able to return to Earth, would you go?
Nope.
15. What is your favorite superpower? Why?
Shapeshifting because that would be so convenient. I could literally be anything I wanted including a koala. That's reason enough for me.
16. If you were a book, which book would you be?
I'd like to think that I'm Stargirl, just because it's such a plain and honest book about a plain and honest girl and you can discover so many things everytime you read it it's amazing I never get tired of it. It's special because it's not special.
17. If you found out that your life was a book, and you met your author, what would you say to them?
So why haven't you written in a little romance for me yet?
18. How would you prefer to die?
Happy. I would prefer to die happy.
19. What is your favorite paradox?
"I can resist anything but temptation" -Oscar Wilde
20. Tell us five facts about your first love, or, if you haven’t had one yet, invent the story of meeting your first love.
-I was obsessed -He was everywhere I looked -He was out of reach -He drove me insane -He loved someone else
21. If you could live anywhere for a year, where would you live?
Kinda wanna visit Australia bc koalas yo
22. If you could visit anywhere for a week, where would you go?
I'd wanna visit Whistler. Never been even though I live so close. Walk the trails and enjoy nature.
23. You can only read one genre of books for the rest of your life. Which genre do you read?
YOU'RE KILLING ME
Manga maybe? or Fantasy. Or classics. Wow this is an earth-shaking question you can't do this to me
24. Define “love.”
"Love, noun.
I'm not even going to try."
-David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary.
25. Define “justice.”
Facing the full consequences of your actions.
26. Define “truth.”
At times, a hard pill to swallow.
27. Define “art.”
I think that anything with meaning or beauty can be considered art.
28. Define “good.”
Wholesome.
29. Define “obscene.”
To me, I suppose it's gross behaviour and anything overtly sexual.
30. What one thing in the world would be hardest for you to give up?
Being with the people I love.
31. What is one thing you regret?
Staying silent when I have things to say.
32. What is something that you have done that you are proud of?
Idol contest. Never thought I could do that.
33. Is it easier to talk or to listen?
Listen. Definitely.
34. When are you vulnerable?
When I'm lonely
35. If you met God, what would you say to God?
So where did YOU come from? like, if you created everything, who created you?
36. Would it be harder to tell someone you loved them if you weren’t sure how they would respond, or have to tell someone that you didn’t love them back?
Telling someone that I don't love them back because that would hurt. I know how it would hurt them if they loved me. It would hurt a lot. On both ends. Especially if I wanted it to work out too.
37. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them? Who were they to you?
I have no idea. Probably my mom? I'm not one to say I love you a lot.
38. What is your worst quality?
Defaulting to altruism much too often for the sake of avoiding conflict or any clash in particular.
39. What is your best quality?
I think my best quality is my ability to listen to other people and make them feel better, but is it arrogant of me to think that?
40. What is your most immediately noticeable quality?
I'm not sure. I guess I'd have to ask someone I just met to tell me that.
41. What is the first thing you notice about other people?
Body language ---> mood
42. Describe one of your closest friends, and explain why that person is such a close friend.
She gets me. We've been friends since grade 2 so time is on our side. But also we really compliment each other. She puts up with me so
43. What happened in the last dream you remember?
I dreamed I was in a mansion where behind every door were life sized figurines of different series of books/tvshows/movies and they would come alive when you summoned them. There were lots of people with me exploring different rooms, and then I discovered a room that was completely empty. It made me really sad and he came into the room and stared at me like I was empty too. I started crying and then I woke up.
44. What was your most memorable dream?
A nightmare where a huge snake (I'm talking larger than the basalisk) destroyed Vancouver and was trying to kill me.
45. Two truths and a lie.
I've never been to Disneyland/Disneyworld
I have an unhealthy obsession for making origami squids
I've been to the hospital because of mosquito bites
46. If you were having a baby with the love of your life, and they insisted that the child be named after a place, what would you name your child?
Aspen I think. It's the name of a city, but more importantly, it's the name of a type of tree. It sounds pretty nice and it sounds unisex.
47. What is the last lie you told?
I have an unhealthy obsession for making origami squids.
48. Is it possible for you to love someone you don’t trust?
Yes, but it wouldn't be the deepest or healthiest relationship.
49. What motivates you most?
Approval, whether it be my own, or someone I want to impress.
50. What is your favorite narrative trope?
I'm a sucker for the underdog.
51. Describe the ultimate dystopia.
Read The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. That's the scariest dystopia ever.
52. What story (book, movie, game, etc.) have you learned the most from?
ASDFJKL ummm I really couldn't say. Maybe the Harry Potter and LOTR series? OH WAIT NO GHIBLI MOVIES. Especially Princess Mononoke. That be deep yo.
53. What is something you wish other people could know about you without you having to tell them?
It's not that I don't care or don't feel anything, it's that I don't know or don't show. I'm feel a lot and I care a lot and I'm scared of that.
54. Describe a moment you experienced something unexpectedly beautiful.
Every moment I stumble upon a really good pun. Now there's beauty.
55. What is the biggest challenge you face when trying to form relationships with people?
Becoming comfortable around new people is always hard, especially if we don't click immediately. I get really nervous over everything so I probably make people feel weird because there's really no need to get worked up and it just gets in the way.
56. How close do you think your perception of yourself is to how other people perceive you?
Probably not very.
57. What is something you used to be afraid of, but aren’t anymore?
Dogs.
58. What is the most important emotion?
COMPASSION? LOVE? EMPATHY? YES
59. Do you think humans are any different than very advanced organic robots? If so, how?
Organic robots? Like homunculi or? I think we're special but idk
60. If you had to move somewhere else, what would you miss most from where you are now?
Friends, family, ocean, mountains, etc.
61. If you were a videogame character, what would your iconic weapon be?
hmm I'd want to have a super lethal hairpin or something like that. Something small and ordinary, but lethal.
62. What is an aspect of your personality now that would come as a surprise to your younger self?
I'm much more willing to showcase myself which was NOT the case before 6 ish years ago
63. If you could eliminate one event from the last month, which event would it be?
12 hours on a plane. That I could do without. but then I wouldn't be here so hmm
64. If you had to forget the entire last year except for one 24 hour period, which day would you chose to remember? (Other people would remember, and you would have anything you wrote down or recorded during that time period - you would just have a form of amnesia.)
February 18th
65. What is the most upsetting thing anyone has ever said to you?
I tend to forget these things. Leaves me happier anyway.
66. If you had to pick only one ideal or cause to work toward, what would it be?
Perfection.
67. Are there any unforgivable actions? What are they?
Everything is forgivable so long as the person is truly sorry I think.
68. Under what circumstances is keeping information secret acceptable or morally required?
When telling the secret would hurt someone more than it would help them.
69. What is one of your favorite ways to relax?
going out for a walk, sleeping, reading
70. What is something you find difficult to talk about, even though you know you should?
February 18th
71. What is an easy, default topic of conversation?
the weather?
72. What is your favorite sort of conversation?
The familiar sort
73. What is a version of you in an alternate reality doing right now?
At home with friends.
74. What was the last adorable thing you saw?
Helena Lee-Wen omg why are all the Lee-Wen babies so cute they make me want to have like 10 but not really
75. Would you prefer for people to hate you or for people to be completely indifferent to you?
Hate me. At least they acknowledge my existence.
76. Would you prefer to be yelled at or ignored?
Ignored is fine, thank you.
77. What is your favorite word and why?
conumdrum cuz it sounds fun
78. What is your dream job?
VOICE ACTRESS OMG that's been my dream since forever.
79. What is the most difficult thing you’ve done this month?
urm tried to sleep on the plane. Now that's hard.
80. When was the last time you were really scared?
Panic attack during class like woah
81. What do you want most?
I wanna be happyyyyy I want eternal happiness with an eternal companionnnnn
82. Describe an ideal day.
A day where I can sleep until I die.
83. If you could speak to any real (non-fictional) person, living or dead for one hour, who would it be?
Jesus actually. That be cool.
84. In general, are you happy with the person you have become?
mmm I wish I was thinner and prettier, I wish I was more outspoken and less awkward, but it ain't bad being me.
85. Do you want to be a parent?
heck ye babies.
86. What is something unusual about you that not a lot of people know?
I wanna be punk rock.
87. What makes you you?
Me.
88. Are you lonelier when you’re with people or when you’re alone?
With people. With people that I don't feel that I fit in with.
89. What makes you feel safe?
Blankie&Summeria
90. What was the last bad decision you made?
Killing a man.
naaah probably getting up early. I'll regret it tonight when I'm tired.
91. Who is someone you have utmost respect for, and what is it about that person that makes you esteem them so highly?
Utmost? Maya Angelou maybe? She was a really good poet. It's hard to say who I have utmost respect for because I don't think I do for anybody right now.
92. What was the last thing you laughed uncontrollably at?
Something stupid and punny I'm sure.
93. Your friend tells you that they are suicidal, and asks you not to tell anyone. Is it more of a betrayal to tell someone, or to keep silent?
To keep silent. A life is on the line yo.
94. What song speaks to you most? Why?
The Scientist by Coldplay. It sums up my first year quite well. I love it.
95. What basic values or principles do you turn to when faced with moral dilemmas?
The commandments of the church, church doctrine, what feels right.
96. If you had a tagline, what would it be?
naaaaaah
97. If applicable, what do you look for in a romantic partner?
Someone who cares enough to get to know me inside out, and knows what I want to say without me needing to say it.
98. Who is your favorite author?
HNNNG THIS IS THE HARDEST QUESTION OF LIFE
I give up.
I love Jane Austen, Kenneth Oppel, Jerry Spinelli, Tolkien, so many other authors I can't think of right now and a lot of manga series, they count as authors too.
99. Who is the one person you know who is most similar to you (in terms of personality, beliefs, attitudes, mannerisms, etc)?
Gabbyyyyyyyyy
100. What are you most excited about right now?
Life.
Monday, 2 June 2014
I AM A LOSER
Hello internet
I forgot to post last week.
The failure stings.
But hey life's been fun.
And I got better things to do than to post things on the web.
So there.
okay until next week then.
I actually have a post planned.
Huzzah.
I forgot to post last week.
The failure stings.
But hey life's been fun.
And I got better things to do than to post things on the web.
So there.
okay until next week then.
I actually have a post planned.
Huzzah.
Monday, 19 May 2014
Deadlines
I put the "pro" in procrastination
And that's not a good thing
I really need to get going on my submission.
I've been having so much fun, going out with friends everyday, maybe putting off other things. . .
But I also feel like I've earned this which lessens my guilt a bit 😝
And that's not a good thing
I really need to get going on my submission.
I've been having so much fun, going out with friends everyday, maybe putting off other things. . .
But I also feel like I've earned this which lessens my guilt a bit 😝
Monday, 12 May 2014
But Whyyyy
Grade 7 girls probably spend entire hours in the day, by themselves and with each other, just taking selfies. For what purpose I really do not understand.
Why doesn't Google+ let you not share your blogposts on the newsfeed thingy? Why can't I change the settings?
I have no idea.
Why does our house no longer have any plates?
Don't ask me.
Is there a reason why things fall apart?
Not any I'd like to admit.
Things have been fun this past week. I've gone out with my friends everyday except Sunday.
Mothers day was a bit of a horror. Just a bit.
Tomorrow will be a catching up day-- doing my readings, organizing my room, writing a talk for Sunday, working on a creative writing submission for the English department, calling residence to clear something up, and, oh I dunno, whatever else needs doing.
I think I need to order a course reader package off the campus bookstore website?
Oh, and input my degree plan onto Solus.
That's important.
Can't forget that.
Monday, 5 May 2014
Monday, 28 April 2014
Almost Home
This past week I've been moving from the dorm room that I've lived in for the past school year to a house that me and three friends are renting for the next school year. It's been super hectic and there's no internet at the house, so I'm updating on campus via phone because my laptop died.
So like me to let that happen. But I am determined to make blogging a habit that I don't give up halfway on.
When I make goals, I meet the goals.
Also, an envelope I had with all the tips I made in the past 3 weeks somehow has gone missing through the move too? I'm rather upset about it because I was saving it to the end of the month so I could take all the tithing out at once and I'm always so careful with my money that is pretty hard earned and suddenly I've misplaced almost 200$ = =
Well, money isn't the most important thing in life.
I still have mixed feelings about the residence life experience. And my whole first year experience. I wasn't as outgoing as I told myself I should be and I'm still not super tight with anyone. My grades and health took a beating when my homesickness and anxiety/panic attacks kicked in. I went to the gym, but not as often as I told myself I should. I thought it would be easy to make friends with the people on my floor but I only really am friends with 2 of them. I thought if anything, I would still have the YSA in the branch, but it was hard to fit in with them too.
On the other hand, I am extremely humbled by many things that have happened these past 8 months. My testimony that God looks out for me and has a plan for me that isn't in my view and is better than I ever could have made happen is stronger than ever. In some ways I am weaker than I thought I was, but I'm also stronger and more independent than when I first left home. I'm less afraid of making phone calls and taking matters into my own hands. I have a steady job with steady income that allowed me to be able to pay for my first month of rent and all my furniture. I appreciate my family and friend group much more acutely (and miss them extremely) now that I've experienced living without the constant immediate love, warmth, comfort, and acceptance that was always available for me to rely on.
When I was deciding where to go for university, I did an immense amount of fasting and praying. Queens came to me as the clear answer and even now I'm not quite sure as to why. I remember how surprised my friends were because I'm the one who's most attached to home, most restricted(ish) by my parents, sometimes I can be kind of a baby (only with my school friend group. Otherwise I'm pretty big sistery cuz I am the oldest child). I was pretty surprised too.
Why not UBC? All the school parents said it was a waste not to accept.
Why not BYU? I took my SATs, did all the application stuff, got accepted to Provo and Idaho, the environment would've been great with the members, maybe easier to make friends, not to mention all the church parents saying I should just go so I can hurry up and get married. Also it'd be easier to take 2 years off for a mission.
Sometimes I still wonder why I'm here.
I don't really know yet. But one day I'll look back and see how this all played out in God's plan for me.
In the meantime, 5 more days until I'm home <3
So like me to let that happen. But I am determined to make blogging a habit that I don't give up halfway on.
When I make goals, I meet the goals.
Also, an envelope I had with all the tips I made in the past 3 weeks somehow has gone missing through the move too? I'm rather upset about it because I was saving it to the end of the month so I could take all the tithing out at once and I'm always so careful with my money that is pretty hard earned and suddenly I've misplaced almost 200$ = =
Well, money isn't the most important thing in life.
I still have mixed feelings about the residence life experience. And my whole first year experience. I wasn't as outgoing as I told myself I should be and I'm still not super tight with anyone. My grades and health took a beating when my homesickness and anxiety/panic attacks kicked in. I went to the gym, but not as often as I told myself I should. I thought it would be easy to make friends with the people on my floor but I only really am friends with 2 of them. I thought if anything, I would still have the YSA in the branch, but it was hard to fit in with them too.
On the other hand, I am extremely humbled by many things that have happened these past 8 months. My testimony that God looks out for me and has a plan for me that isn't in my view and is better than I ever could have made happen is stronger than ever. In some ways I am weaker than I thought I was, but I'm also stronger and more independent than when I first left home. I'm less afraid of making phone calls and taking matters into my own hands. I have a steady job with steady income that allowed me to be able to pay for my first month of rent and all my furniture. I appreciate my family and friend group much more acutely (and miss them extremely) now that I've experienced living without the constant immediate love, warmth, comfort, and acceptance that was always available for me to rely on.
When I was deciding where to go for university, I did an immense amount of fasting and praying. Queens came to me as the clear answer and even now I'm not quite sure as to why. I remember how surprised my friends were because I'm the one who's most attached to home, most restricted(ish) by my parents, sometimes I can be kind of a baby (only with my school friend group. Otherwise I'm pretty big sistery cuz I am the oldest child). I was pretty surprised too.
Why not UBC? All the school parents said it was a waste not to accept.
Why not BYU? I took my SATs, did all the application stuff, got accepted to Provo and Idaho, the environment would've been great with the members, maybe easier to make friends, not to mention all the church parents saying I should just go so I can hurry up and get married. Also it'd be easier to take 2 years off for a mission.
Sometimes I still wonder why I'm here.
I don't really know yet. But one day I'll look back and see how this all played out in God's plan for me.
In the meantime, 5 more days until I'm home <3
Monday, 21 April 2014
I Know that My Redeemer Lives
Easter today!
It is today, many centuries ago that Jesus Christ our Saviour resurrected from the dead after atoning for our sins in Gethsemane and dying on the cross of calvary.
It is through Christ's resurrection that we have the chance to repent for our sins and to return to the kingdom of our God and Heavenly Father after this short mortal life.
I know that there is no way but through Christ to return to heaven, and I know that he suffered and gave his life willingly because He loved us, loved God, and knew His part in the grand plan.
I know Jesus Christ is my personal Saviour, and the Saviour of all those who will accept Him.
I know that He knows of all our struggles personally, because He experienced them for Himself.
I know that God lives, and His work and Glory is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.
I know that it is through the Gospel of Jesus Christ that we can come to experience true happiness.
I eagerly await the Second Coming, when Jesus will come on earth again to reign.
Today we celebrate, not just the atonement, but the resurrection of Christ.
In the name of Jesus Christ,
amen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KH6ZKO_Y5iQ
It is today, many centuries ago that Jesus Christ our Saviour resurrected from the dead after atoning for our sins in Gethsemane and dying on the cross of calvary.
It is through Christ's resurrection that we have the chance to repent for our sins and to return to the kingdom of our God and Heavenly Father after this short mortal life.
I know that there is no way but through Christ to return to heaven, and I know that he suffered and gave his life willingly because He loved us, loved God, and knew His part in the grand plan.
I know Jesus Christ is my personal Saviour, and the Saviour of all those who will accept Him.
I know that He knows of all our struggles personally, because He experienced them for Himself.
I know that God lives, and His work and Glory is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.
I know that it is through the Gospel of Jesus Christ that we can come to experience true happiness.
I eagerly await the Second Coming, when Jesus will come on earth again to reign.
Today we celebrate, not just the atonement, but the resurrection of Christ.
In the name of Jesus Christ,
amen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KH6ZKO_Y5iQ
Monday, 14 April 2014
I Very Sincerely Apologize
Sometimes I'm completely sure that I am a walking embarrassment, so I'd like to apologize for existing.
Also I'd like to apologize for my last post.
It makes me want to throw up because it is word vomit, but if I take it down it also feels like I'm just hiding my shame.
Why am I blogging again?
To improve my writing and to get my thoughts out. Right.
But the thing about blogging is that it's not a diary or a journal because it's too public. Running a blog is weird because I want people to read it but I also don't. Hmm.
Well, I just want to apologize for my last post because it's so pretentious and disgusting.
Who am I even apologizing to?
I guess anyone who has had the misfortune of reading it.
I'm gonna update Mondays and Thursdays, possibly Sundays from now on. I'll think of themes soon.
I don't care what anyone says, it's still Monday right now because I haven't gone to bed and woken up again yet.
Might write something tomorrow on all the eventful things that happened today, but most likely that's not going to happen because exams and work.
Ah well.
Oh look, another post of word vomit.
Maybe this is why people are so impressed with me when they see my actual good writing.
Who's gonna read this anyway.
Also I'd like to apologize for my last post.
It makes me want to throw up because it is word vomit, but if I take it down it also feels like I'm just hiding my shame.
Why am I blogging again?
To improve my writing and to get my thoughts out. Right.
But the thing about blogging is that it's not a diary or a journal because it's too public. Running a blog is weird because I want people to read it but I also don't. Hmm.
Well, I just want to apologize for my last post because it's so pretentious and disgusting.
Who am I even apologizing to?
I guess anyone who has had the misfortune of reading it.
I'm gonna update Mondays and Thursdays, possibly Sundays from now on. I'll think of themes soon.
I don't care what anyone says, it's still Monday right now because I haven't gone to bed and woken up again yet.
Might write something tomorrow on all the eventful things that happened today, but most likely that's not going to happen because exams and work.
Ah well.
Oh look, another post of word vomit.
Maybe this is why people are so impressed with me when they see my actual good writing.
Who's gonna read this anyway.
Monday, 7 April 2014
Sweet Tooth (mark I)
I've never been fond of things overly sweet, whether they were sugary words or sugary cakes. Cookies and cream held no appeal, and towards frostings I only felt mild distaste.
But lately I've been craving candies. Hard or soft, sweet or tangy. Ice creams and rice crispies, brownies and chocolate goods. Tastes that will melt in my mouth and satisfy something inside. I can't put my finger on what this feeling is, but as soon as the sweets reach my mouth, no matter how much I wanted it before, I realize it's not what I'm looking for.
I don't want hot chocolate. I want my mother's company in the kitchen and the aroma of hot milk and honey for a late night sip.
I don't want gummies. I want to share them with my friends, people who know and understand me and who I am, and I want to laugh about their strange shapes as we eat more than we want to just for the fun of it.
I don't want cookies. I want to bake them in a kitchen of my own, in the comfort of my own home, to make them with less sugar than the recipe calls for because I've never been fond of things overly sweet.
Less of a Sweet Tooth, and more of a Sweet Heart that is yearning to go home to the familiar, where everything is naturally sweetened, no artificial additives, and no sugar added because no more is needed.
Less of a Sweet Tooth, and more of a Sweet Heart that is yearning to go home to the familiar, where everything is naturally sweetened, no artificial additives, and no sugar added because no more is needed.
Monday, 31 March 2014
Stupid Happy
Stupid Happy, Adj.
Used to describe persons who don't notice anything that could dampen their spirits, and tend not to be able to remember times that they were sad or events that happened in their lives that might have been difficult or frustrating.
That's me.
Of course I get stressed out over homework and exam seasons, I cry over silly things, I get frustrated with people and things, and very occasionally, I get mad.
But generally, I'm a very happy person because I'm not thinking of any of that. When you ask me "what's something difficult that you've been through in your life?", I can't think of anything until I'm actually in a difficult situation. Then the ball starts rolling and aaaall the memories come rushing in.
But I'm easily distracted, so I can forget again.
So I live a stupidly happy life.
In other words, I'm just really good at not thinking about the bad stuff. But that's not a bad thing, right?
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